GoodbyeTV

About the Authors

AUTHOR NAME: THE AUDITOR

EXPERTISE: Money, money and money. Chief writer for Goodbye Money.

The Auditor Is  Mr Money. He may just be the coolest accountant  that you’ve ever come across. Don’t let the slick Saville Row suit and Oxbridge vowels  fool you. He’s Ali Gee backwards –those are Nike socks under the Ivy League brogues. Inside there’s a hoodie poking out. Our man knows the difference between bizness and business and none of your business.  When it comes to the markets,  he knows what’s up and who should be going down.  Who should be smilin’ and who’s wearing a frown. What’s whiter than white and whose laundry is brown.  Yo diggit the man is in touch with this town.

AUTHOR NAME: THE AXORCIST
EXPERTISE: Celebrity Fame, Talent and The Appalling Lack of it.  Chief Writer for Goodbye Fame.

The Axorcist: Born and bred in Louisiana, the daughter of a preacher man and resident exorcist for their Baptist church, the Axorcist learnt from a young age how to sing like Aretha and cast out evil spirits like Oprah Winfrey on a binge of diet amphetamines. The Axorcist left home, moved to LA and branched out helping decipher the wheat from the chaff as she ruthlessly ripped the poisonous elements out of talentless celebrities, where possible that is. Not everyone can be saved. Replacing them with the voice of an angel or the acting talent of De Nero. Now she works exclusively for Goodbye targeting talentless celebs and, with various methods (laying on of hands, voodoo dolls, flicking of the holy water of i.e. John Lennon’s sweat), she casts out the evil demon of banality within.

AUTHOR NAME: THAW
EXPERTISE: Ecology, Health, Weather, Flora and Fauna.  Chief Writer for Goodbye Green.

Thaw: I am the God previously known as THOR. I had a good time chucking around my thunderbolts until you earthlings came along and mucked everything up. Now I find the planet in utter disarray and have had to change my name to the much less omnipotent and powerful moniker of THAW and am forced to spend my time sorting your mess out. Writing a blog is not the kind of thing a Norse Deity should be doing on his weekends off. I am very, very, very angry with you.

AUTHOR NAME: FATHER BED
EXPERTISE: Religion, Priesthood, Choirboys. Chief Writer for Goodbye Faith

Father Bed: My name is Father Bed. I am a defrocked priest of the Catholic order. I know about temptation because Satan was in me once. He made me do bad things. I’m glad he’s gone. He was not nice. My ‘troubles’ were all his fault. But now I’m saved. And instead of exposing myself I’m going to expose everything that is wrong about religion today. It’s my penance. Forgive me, for I have sinned. And writing this blog keeps my mind off sinning again.

AUTHOR NAME:PSYCHIC SID
EXPERTISE: Celebrity, Fame, Talent, Predictions. Featured Writer for Goodbye Fame.

Psychic Sid: a former student under the Axorcist, felt the need to go out on his own after a number of years study under the mistress. INHALE!! Sid uses a number of nasal techniques to better tap into the minds and ways of celebrities in order to better foretell their future predicament. SNIFF!! From stalking their homes and hotel rooms in the hope of finding a smelly sock or sweaty shirt …BREATH DEEPLY… Sid will snuff out and divulge all the celeb has to say, as each celeb has a WHIFF of success or failure. And Sid can follow that whiff like a well oiled bloodhound and see in which direction it is being taken. Sniff….sniff. sniff….mmmmm…bad news ahead for this one.

AUTHOR NAME: SNIFFER DOG
EXPERTISE: Criminology, Gangs, Illegal activity in general, Bad odors.  Chief Writer for Goodbye Crime.

Sniffer Dog: I taught Psychic Sid a lot of what he knows and now and then he works with me when I need some psychic input. I come from a family of famous sniffers and there is no escape when I’m on the trail. I have a particular penchant for unresolved or ‘cold nosed cases’ as we call them. I know the when where how who and often why of any illegal activity with just a quick whiff sniff. I chose to write for Goodbye as it’s an opportunity to show off my skills and successes. Also Nurse Patience is kinda hot.

AUTHOR NAME: NURSE PATIENCE
EXPERTISE: Patient care, Diagnosis,  Cure finding, Undercover Espionage.  Chief writer for Goodbye Health.

Nurse Patience:I used to work in a hospital but I got a little lonely on the night shift.  I also found I couldn’t give that extra little bit of patient care, true to my motherly tactile and caring nature, during the busy day shift. So now I work in a nursing home by day, much more leisurely pace, and meet CEO’s from healthcare insurance companies, lobbyists who work for them, politicians, oh yes and a few doctors of course, in dimly lit bars by night. I feel so alive as I gently probe their minds over a few too many whiskeys to find out what’s really going on in the industry, which I then lovingly pass onto you the Goodbye user.

AUTHOR NAME: OOBUZZ..ZZ. THE FLY

EXPERTISE: Espionage, Infiltration, Twittering. Cheif writer for Goodbye Politics and Crime among others.

The Fly:President Barack Obama may have killed off our first agent 00buzz in the oval office, but we have another 00Buzz..zz working for you, entering the secret meetings and discussions of the rich, famous, wanna be famous and sometimes downright dangerous. He’s our fly on the wall we would all like to be. Well known for his ability to infiltrate, without being swatted, secret meetings and kill off terrorist fly cells, and having been trained by the best SOS Fly troopers and scuba Fly protection suits developed in MI Fly labs, he can infiltrate, investigate and implicate via fish tanks, water features, in fact anywhere others can’t go. Now transferred to the Goodbye special unit ‘fightback division’ he is at your disposal to spy for goodbye!

AUTHOR NAME: THE TIME TRAVELER

EXPERTISE: History, or rather changing it. Chief writer for Goodbye in all categories.

The Time Traveler: Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to go back in history and change chronic disasters and massive bloopers before they happen? This is the task set by Goodbye for the Time Traveler.

Is a leader, a country, a celebrity, a CEO, a president, about to make the biggest mistake of his or her life? The Time Traveler will get there just in time, and disguised appropriately, convince the hapless fool as to a better solution, or at least fool them into following a direction better suited to humanity at large as some of these people know exactly what they are doing but don’t really give a toss.  Stay tuned as our time traveler works in all our departments and across all periods of time. Is there something in the past you think he should go back and change? Let him know and he will go.